Saturday, April 7, 2007

Robin Hood—The Tax Man Cometh

An abbess collapses outside Nottingham and asks for protection from the sheriff. Their pilgrimage has been waylaid by outlaws. Guy promises her protection, obviously thinking Robin and his cohorts are the culprits. The sheriff comes on to her. He's a skeez, seriously.

In the meantime, Robin and gang waylay a tax collector--oops, my bad--tax inspector--in the forest. Robin questions him about the code in his ledgers. The tax man states it's 1192. Cool. I think I asked about that last week, so I'm glad somebody was listening. Robin asks the tax inspector about the state secrets encoded in his books. All the taxes from the north are held in Nottingham Castle. Robin thinks maybe they should break into the vault to redistribute the money, and he thinks maybe the tax inspector can help out. As often as Robin breaks into that castle, you'd think they'd put in a Robin Hood detector or something.

At Knighton Hall, Maid Marian does Tai Chi. My suspension of disbelief crashes into the ground, catches on fire, and explodes in a giant fireball. Oh, and she wears pants the entire episode, and nobody around her seems to find this odd. It's 1192, people! The tax inspector said so!


Guy comes to see Marian, trying to make amends. He brings her a present, which she refuses. He tells her she needs a husband because it's not safe for her to be alone. I think Marian could take Guy, especially with him stuck in that constricting leather. Marian's dad says she could do worse than to marry Guy, and that she's forbidden to do the Night Watchman gig. There's a confrontation and he tells her she has to leave the house. Marian calls dad's bluff by saying she's going to become a nun. Guy suggests there are other ways to learn obedience. Hm. Probably involving leather and um... Okay, never mind.

Robin and co. run into a snag--the tax inspector has tricked them and locks them in the dungeon. Of course they escape, with much flashy swordfighting. In the end, it turns out the "tax inspector" and the "abbess" were in cahoots in a scheme to steal all the tax money, which the sheriff had hidden in the chapel for safekeeping. Woops.

Shallow Observation:
Either the sheriff is really short, or Guy is really tall. It looks like Guy's really tall. Hmmm. That's hot.